All regrets are at the end, even if the thing to be regretted is expected or unexpected, regret is still regret. Since that day, regret has always haunted me along with all the imaginings that were only just wishful thinking. If we didn’t joke around back then, if we didn’t hold our phone at the same time, and if we never cared about each other, i wonder what we would be today if those things didn’t happen.
I wasn’t joking when i said that i needed you, but all that happened was a thousand words of apology that sounded like blurry words, tears that sounded like regret, and begging that sounded like a disgusting dramatic scene at that time.
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At that time, i’ll do anything as long as you stay with me, just here with me and don’t ever leave me. I just wonder, is there any way in your mind that you think i’m someone who’s selfish, shameless, and unaware of the mistakes i’ve made? that’s exactly what the words that made me blame myself sound like. I truly wanted to get my point across to defend myself by saying that “oh please, you misunderstood”, that i didn’t mean, and i didn’t want anything like what you had in mind. But it all ended up being just an illusion when i know that none of my explanations were understood by you and not even for reading, i hurt as much as it hurts.
